3 Things Women Can Learn from the Nicki Minaj and Meg Thee Stallion Beef
image credit: Getty Image/ Merle Cooper (Uproxx.com) ||
*2024 Archived Post: This was written before The House of Psalm became The House of Psalm Magazine.*
If you’re like me, you may be watching the unfolding tension or “beef” if you will between Nicki and Meg Thee Stallion. I’m not here to write about the specifics of their diss tracks. I’m not here to analyze their discographies or to talk industry talk, either. I’m just here to write about 3 things we as women can learn from this whole situation about sisterhood, (self) respect and being yourself, unapologetically.
To preface this, I just want to say that I have so much love and respect for all the Black women in the rap game and in the entertainment world, period; for them, life (and livelihood) is survival of the fittest, but on steroids, for many many reasons. Sigh.
Anyway, on with the list:
Other people are too preoccupied with our sexuality, and quite frankly, it’s none of their business. So many lyrics are attacking Meg’s sexual proclivities. A lot of her music is sexual – yeah. She’s been rumored to have had relations with quite a few men in the music world – okay. These are things that 1. we already know from her own music and, 2. it’s nobody’s business who she or anyone else is doing after dark (or in the morning, or in the afternoon). We as a people have to learn how to prioritize what’s going on (or not going on) in between our own legs first and foremost. That kitten should be the star kitty kat in our lives, okay? We already live in a society where politicians who don’t know our cat (or any cat, period) from Adam sit in high places with the power to police it; as women, we should know better than to even want to play paw patrol and make bad problems even worse. That’s child’s play.
There is immense power in not responding. When people say things about you that aren’t true, attack your character or the people you care most about, it is HARD to not respond. It’s human nature to want to clear your name and defend yourself, even amidst nonsense, word salad, and the most trifling of lies. Ladies, we might as well learn now to fight that feeling with everything in us. When people act a fool, Michelle Obama says “when they go low, we go high” and Flint, Michigan’s 1st Ward Councilman Mr. Eric Mays says “when they go low, I go low-er.” I say do not respond. When people aim their lowest blows your way, they’re looking for a response – an angry, frustrated, defensive, self-sabotaging response. They want you to look crazy and they want your panties to be all up in a bunch. I mean, did you see how UNBOTHERED Meg was at one point during all of this – in the club with Victoria Monet? That’s the precise level of maxin’ and relaxin’ we must unlock when frogs get froggy. Picture me, jumping because you don’t like me. Tuh.
The old heads before you and the new girls on the rise are not a threat, and if you see them as a threat, then that’s definitely a you-problem. The women before us in a given place or space are the OGs and they have so much wisdom to glean from. Most of the time, they earned that spot and that title. These young girlies coming up are challenging norms and tradition with a creativity and a zeal like never before, and we could all learn just as much from them, too. That is what community, sisterhood and empowerment actually look like. Everyone has something to teach and everyone has something to learn. But, when we don’t think much of ourselves, we don’t value what we have to teach nor do we value what we can learn. For many, it’s easier to tear down the next woman and see her in pain than to confront our actual insecurities and heal our own pain, and it’s not a good look. Like J. Cole said in Love Yourz, “you ain’t NEVER gonna be happy until you love yours.” When we see people beef in the celebrity world and on social media, we can easily peel back their layers, but you mean to tell me that the mean girl at work, at school or in her own family can’t seem to figure out why she’s so unhappy and such a hater? Girl, if you don’t sit down somewhere and do the self-work, life will humble you and hurt much worse than a therapy session, a good nap, a social media fast, and a talk with God all combined.
Ladies, it’s time for us all to do better.
I’m so thankful to Meg Thee Stallion and Nicki Minaj for this teachable moment and I wish them both nothing but love and light.
My name is Kiara and I am the founder of The House of Psalm, which started as a communication consulting side business, but has since birthed The House of Psalm Magazine, a home for the creative mind. I’m a writer, consultant, writing professor and lover of all things creative. My work includes two children’s books: Light-Skinned, Dark-Skinned or In Between? (about colorism) and Be A Man Tyrone: What Happens When Daddy Goes to Prison? (about parental incarceration). I also have a poetry book, “She Forgot Who She Was: Poetry for Women Lost and Found,” and a workbook titled “Unveiling Your Writing Voice: A Workbook for Writers and Creatives.” I have also written many op-eds and online pieces. In 2020, I won a Green Eye Shade Award (Online Commentary).
Whether you’re a writer, a painter, an actress, or if you don’t consider any fancy titles for yourself – you are a creative in my eyes. No matter who you are, to some degree, we all create and we all need space to take care of every part of ourselves. I hope this space inspires you to take good care.
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Okay sis! #Sisterhood